Bullying: Everything You Need to Know

Bullying is any unwanted or aggressive behavior from someone who is intentionally trying to upset, harm, or have power over you. Bullying occurs among children, adolescents, and teens, either in person, online, or through social media. Adults can also be bullied, both in social groups and in the workplace.

Read on to learn more about the main types of bullying, signs someone is being bullied, and how to deal with a bully.

6 Types of Bullying

In the United States in 2019, 1 out of 5 children ages 12–18 reported being bullied at school. Bullying included being:

• Made fun of or called names
  
• Threatened
• Pressured into doing things
• Excluded from activities
• Pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on
• The subject of rumors

There are six main types of bullying, as discussed below.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying is when someone is saying or writing harmful things or making threats. It includes:

• Name-calling
• Taunting
• Teasing
• Threatening to cause harm
• Making inappropriate comments

Social Bullying

Social bullying is also called relational bullying, relational aggression, or emotional bullying. It involves threatening someone's reputation or relationships.

Social bullying can include:

• Excluding someone on purpose
• Spreading rumors and gossip about someone
• Shunning, or telling others not to interact or be friends with someone
• Publicly embarrassing someone

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying includes bodily harm or damage to possessions. Any form of aggressive physical contact constitutes physical bullying.

This type of bullying can include:

• Hitting, kicking, or spitting on someone
• Tripping or pushing someone
• Taking or breaking someone’s things
• Making mean or inappropriate gestures

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying involves bullying or harassing someone online or through social media. This harassment can occur on a computer, telephone, cell, or text messaging device.

Cyberbullying can include:

• Sending mean texts
• Posting insults about someone on social media
• Making rude comments about someone's posts
• Posting or sending personal information about someone to others in order to hurt or embarrass that person
• Threatening someone or bullying them through online chats or groups
  

In a 2018 survey, 59% of U.S. teens reported being cyberbullied.

Racist Bullying

Racist or racial bullying can include all other types of bullying, even physical attacks. It includes:

• Belittling, mocking, or intimidating someone because of their race
• Devaluing someone's racial background
• Discrediting someone's religious or cultural practices
• Insulting or shaming a person's speech, the way they dress, or their customs

Sexual Bullying

Sexual bullying includes any unwanted sexual physical contact, inappropriate comments, or online harassment. It includes:

• Sending or posting sexually explicit photos, messages, or videos
• Making inappropriate sexual comments, jokes, or hand gestures
• Spreading sexual rumors
• Groping, grabbing, or touching in a sexual manner
• Pressuring someone for sex or sexually explicit photos

Signs of Bullying

Bullying occurs intentionally out of the sight of adults. When there are warning signs, they usually involve behavioral and emotional changes.

Signs someone you know is being bullied include:

• They have physical signs like cuts, bruises, or scratches that are not easily explained.
• They try to get out of going to school.
• They suddenly start doing poorly in school.
• They come home moody, sad, teary, depressed, or overly fatigued.
• They have a loss of appetite or develop an eating disorder.
• They appear more stressed or anxious than usual.
• Their belongings come home torn or damaged, or they are missing altogether.
• They experience headaches, nausea, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms.
• They have nightmares, sleep disorders, insomnia, or trouble sleeping.

Why Do People Bully?

One study indicates that bullies tend to be bullied by their own family, so they may observe and mimic aggressive or angry behavior.

Other reasons may include that they are:

• Lashing out for attention due to lack of attention at home or elsewhere
• Being bullied by their older siblings or adults in their lives (parent, teacher, coach, etc.)
  
• Elevating their own social status among their peers
• Trying to fit in with others who are bullying
• Insecure, feeling incompetent, or experiencing poor self-esteem

Bullies may feel emotional relief from their own insecurity by dominating others.

Bullies often blame others and don't accept the consequences of their actions.

How to Deal With a Bully

Bullies gain power and control by getting a reaction out of others. They get this reaction by aggravating, frightening, angering, or threatening others.

Some ways to deal with a bully include:

• Get help: Seek help if you're being bullied. This is especially important if it is escalating toward physical threats or actual assaults.
• Respond, don't react: You may feel upset on the inside, but if you can respond calmly instead of reacting emotionally, you maintain control of your emotions. Getting a reaction out of other people is how bullies try to gain power and control.
  
• Walk away: If safe to do so, walk away from the situation.
• Take a screenshot: If you are cyberbullied, take a screenshot as evidence.
• Strength in numbers: Effective bullying intervention programs assign students into roles of peer supporters, peer mediators, and peer educators.

The Effects of Bullying

Adults bullied as children are likely to have mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety disorder, and antisocial personality disorder.

Bullying affects bullies negatively as well. In one study, men who bullied and men who were bullied had increased risks of suicide.

Other effects in children and teenagers may include:

• Low self-esteem
• Loss of interest in social activities
• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
• Development of eating disorders
• Nightmares
• Loss of interest in school
• Difficulty focusing on learning
• Poor school attendance
• Lower testing scores and lower grades
• Higher dropout rates

Summary

Bullying is any unwanted and aggressive behavior that is intentionally done to hurt another person. It often occurs among children, adolescents, and teens, but it can happen to adults as well. Bullying creates a power imbalance, and it usually occurs repeatedly.

Types of bullying include physical, verbal, social, cyber, racist, and sexual. People who have been bullied may experience effects like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

A Word From Verywell 

Being bullied can make you feel helpless, anxious, and depressed. Support is available to help you address any bullying you are facing. To find resources in your area, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information.