Sexual Health STDs Living With Print Why You Should Tell Your Partner If You Have HSV-1 Oral herpes poses a risk beyond cold sores By Elizabeth Boskey, PhD facebook twitter linkedin Elizabeth Boskey, PhD, MPH, CHES, is a social worker, adjunct lecturer, and expert writer in the field of sexually transmitted diseases. Learn about our editorial process Elizabeth Boskey, PhD Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Susan Olender, MD on August 05, 2016 Susan Olender, MD, is an assistant professor of medicine at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City. Learn about our Medical Review Board Susan Olender, MD Updated on September 25, 2019 Sexually Transmitted Diseases Overview Symptoms Causes Diagnosis Treatment Prevention Tetra Images / Getty Images Dating with a cold sore can embarrassing. But embarrassment shouldn't stop you from telling a sexual partner if you feel one coming on or there is one hidden behind your lip. Even if you're on the mend, cold sores are highly contagious and may do more than just transmit the infection to your partner. It may increase your risk of a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Facts About Cold Sores Cold sores are usually caused by herpes simplex virus-1 (HSV-1), the cousin of HSV-2, which is primarily associated with genital herpes. About 67 percent of the world's population under 50 has HSV-1. Cold sores usually appear as a single watery blister on the lip or mouth or several blisters that consolidate into one. They can be painful and may take up to 14 days before active healing begins. Cold sores are typically spread by direct, non-sexual contact. Cold sores affect roughly three of every thousand people each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Of these, 33 percent will experience subsequent attacks triggered by stress, fever, and other causes. Why Is It Important to Tell Your Partner Herpes viruses are extremely contagious. And it's not just the risk of spreading a cold sore that you should be worried about. If you have an HSV-1 infection, you can give your partner genital herpes through oral sex. This is because HSV-1 can be spread from the mouth to the genitals as easily as HSV-2 can be passed from the genitals to the mouth. Skin-to-skin contact is all that is needed. Having an open sore increases risk of an STD by providing the virus or bacteria a direct route into the body. With HIV, the infection can actually promote infection by providing the virus with the immune cells it preferentially targets and infects. To this end, it is just as important to discuss both of your sexual histories and not just herpes. As awkward as this may seem, it allows you both to explore whether it's time to get an STD screen from your doctor or local health clinic. How to Tell Your Partner It may be difficult to talk about these issues before sex. Still, you're far more likely to be able to build a lasting relationship based on the truth. People are willing to take risks for love. They're also less likely to blame a partner for giving them herpes if they went into the relationship with open eyes. Here's a sample script that may help: You: "I really like you, but before we go any further, I wanted to tell you that I may have a cold sore." Partner: "So?" You: "Well, because they're contagious and caused by a herpes virus. I think it's important to let someone who I'm interested in dating to know that I get cold sores before I kiss them or sleep with them." Partner: "Cold sores are herpes?" You: "Yes." Partner: "I had no idea. My ex used to get cold sores a lot. What does that mean for me?" You: "Well, the herpes virus can be transmitted during kissing and also during oral sex. I always practice safe oral sex, but even that's not perfect." Partner: "We never used condoms for oral sex. Does that mean I have herpes?" You: "Not necessarily. The virus isn't transmitted every time you have sex. But it might make you feel better to get tested and find out." Partner: "There's a test for herpes?" You: "Yeah. It's a blood test. It can tell whether you have ever been infected even if you don't have symptoms. What do you think about that?" From that point forward, allow your partner to make his or her own decision without stress or coercion. There doesn't have to be an immediate answer. The one thing you can control is your sexual decisions, including how you choose to protect yourself. If You Were Infected During Oral Sex If you are someone who was infected with genital herpes during oral sex, it's a good idea to talk to your partner about what happened. Think about educating them, rather than engaging in partner blame. It's unlikely that they were trying to intentionally give you an STD. Unfortunately, a lot of people with cold sores are unaware of the risk of transmitting herpes during oral sex. Fortunately, this risk can be greatly reduced by using appropriate barriers or suppressive therapy. Can You Get HIV From Oral Sex? Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you live your healthiest life. Sign Up You're in! Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. There was an error. Please try again. What are your concerns? Other Inaccurate Hard to Understand Submit Article Sources Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. World Health Organization. Globally, an estimated two-thirds of the population under 50 are infected with herpes simplex virus type 1. Updated October 28, 2015. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Genital Herpes - CDC Fact Sheet (Detailed). Updated January 31, 2017.