10 Sex Tips for the Older Woman

Your sex life will change as your body ages. These changes can be addressed and you can have healthy, satisfying sex your entire life. By communicating with your partner, taking care of your health, and maintaining a good emotional perspective, your sex life can grow even richer over the years.


Talk With Your Partner

Older Caucasian lesbian couple laying in bed

Jose Luis Pelaez Inc / Getty Images

Open communication has always been essential for good sex. Talk with your partner about any sexual difficulties you might be having as a couple.

​Try to treat these difficulties as problems that you can solve together. There are many ways to approach it, though, and if you work it out together, you can find creative solutions that can help.



As a woman ages, natural lubrication for sexual intercourse decreases. This is easily fixed by using a water-based lubricant.

At first, applying a lubricant for sex may seem awkward, but you and your partner will quickly become used to it. You can even incorporate it into foreplay.


Experiment With Positions and Times

Pain caused by arthritis or other conditions can interfere with sex. Experiment with different sexual positions, and you may find one that works better.

Also, arthritis and other pain conditions are often less severe at certain times a day. This varies from one person to the next, though you can try having sex when your pain is the least severe.


Feel Beautiful

We live in a culture that is constantly showing us images of youth and beauty. As women age, they may feel less sexually attractive, which can interfere with sexual desire.

Sure, your body changes as you age, but that does not reflect on your worth or desirability. Ignore messages and stereotypes from television, magazines, and other media sources and embrace your body at every stage of your life.


Take Care of Your Health

Poor health can interfere with sexual satisfaction. Follow your doctor’s orders and make the lifestyle changes you need to be healthy. Losing weight, exercising, and eating well will not only improve your health but will also improve your sex life.


Sex After Surgery

As women age, they may need to undergo surgical procedures that alter the reproductive organs. The most common are mastectomy (the removal of a breast or part of a breast to treat cancer) and hysterectomy (the removal of the uterus and sometimes the ovaries).

These surgeries do not interfere with a woman’s ability to have sex. However, they can dramatically change how a woman perceives her own attractiveness. Open communication with your partner both before and after a procedure can help reduce your anxiety.


Safe Sex

Any sexually active adult needs to protect herself from sexually transmitted diseases.

Sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, are on the rise in older adults.

This increase is due to many factors, including the fact that more divorcees and widows who are choosing to date again. Naturally, with age comes a longer sexual history as well and many infections can remain dormant for years. Do not assume that an older sexual partner is a safe sexual partner. It's always best to practice safe sex.


Talk to Your Doctor

If you or your partner are having sexual difficulties, talk to your doctor. There may be simple solutions that can help, such as changing the time of day that you take a medication or making lifestyle changes. 

Expect that you will have to make adjustments in your life and sexual habits as you age. For instance, many older couples find that simple acts of intimacy, like hugging and kissing, can be just as satisfying as actual sex.


Deal With Erectile Problems

For men, trouble having an erection is an expected part of aging. If this happens to your partner, gently help him troubleshoot this problem. Lifestyle changes and medications can help and a conversation with his doctor is a good place to begin.


Vibrators and Masturbation

Sex and orgasms bring both emotional and physical benefits. Women should not feel guilty about masturbation. Vibrators and other devices can help tremendously.

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Article Sources

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  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. HIV Among People Aged 50 and Over.

  • National Institute on Aging. Sexuality in Later Life.