When Can I Have Sex After Surgery?

The question of when you can have sex after surgery is a common one. But it's one many people are embarrassed to ask their surgeon. Unfortunately, the answer is not straightforward. It depends on your overall health, your post-surgical healing progress, and the type of surgery you are having. 

This article will discuss when it's safe to return to sexual activity after you have surgery. It will also mention questions you should ask your healthcare provider to make sure you can safely have sex following a surgical procedure.

Outpatient or Inpatient Surgery

When you are scheduling your surgery, your healthcare provider will tell you whether your surgery can be done as an outpatient, like at a surgical center, or as an inpatient, in the operating room of a hospital.

Typically speaking, outpatient (ambulatory) surgery tends to require less healing time. This means it may be safe to have sex within a couple of days or a week.

On the other hand, inpatient surgery tends to be more extensive than outpatient surgery. In this case, returning to sexual activities may mean you need to wait for a few or multiple weeks.

Type of Surgery

The type of surgery will also affect when you can engage in sexual activities again. For instance, a woman who undergoes a dilation and curettage for a miscarriage may need to wait a couple of weeks before having sex. But a small skin cancer removal may allow you to resume sexual activity within a day or two. 

Surgeries that affect the reproductive organs, such as hysterectomies, prostate surgeries, or any surgery directly involving the penis or vagina, may require additional healing time prior to engaging in sex. Childbirth can also delay the return to sexual intercourse, with or without a cesarean section.

In these cases, it is best to consult your surgeon and specifically ask about when it's safe to have sexual intercourse. Don't be embarrassed, as it's better to ask than not know and then be understandably anxious about it.

Finally, after some surgeries, such as open-heart surgery, you may feel fully recovered but are at risk when you exert yourself too much.

Questions to Ask Your Healthcare Provider

Besides general questions about having sex, you may have more specific questions for your healthcare provider, so go ahead and ask them. Sample questions may include:

• Do I need to avoid putting pressure on a certain area, such as an incision wound?
• Will we need to take any special measures? Some surgeries, such as vaginal surgeries, may cause vaginal dryness and make a lubricant necessary. Other surgeries, such as prostate surgery, may make it difficult to get and keep an erection. It may require medication or an additional procedure.
• Is there any reason to avoid pregnancy? Does my surgery, medications I am currently taking, or my condition make contraception important?
• Are there other sexual activities we should try such as kissing, petting, or oral sex before progressing to intercourse?

Questions for You and Your Partner

In addition to resuming sex, you may have other questions regarding intimacy with your partner. For example, do you and your partner even feel like having sex? Do you and your partner have enough energy?

It's good to have an open, honest conversation with your partner about the importance of healing. This is best done before the surgery so they are prepared.

Use Pain as Your Guide

Even if you are approved for sex, be sure to use pain as your guide. In other words, if it's painful when you try to have intercourse, this is your body’s way of saying you are not ready and that you need to heal more before having sex.

But in some cases, pain can be avoided with some minor adjustments. For example, a patient who has had breast surgery may be particularly sensitive to bouncing movements. For this particular patient, being in a position on top may cause too much movement and pain. But alternative positions may be pain-free.

Type of Sex Matters

The type of sex comes into play when your healthcare provider gives you the green light to have intercourse. Try and be sensible here. Vigorous, athletic sex is not the ideal way to ease back into your sex life after surgery.

Here are some other options:

• If you are a man who had abdominal surgery, you may want to try a position that keeps pressure off your stomach.
• If you had colorectal surgery, you will want to wait before resuming anal sex until your surgeon says it is safe.
• If you are a woman who just had a hip replacement, the pressure of being on the bottom in a missionary position could be painful. 

Generally speaking, start slowly. And think ahead to try to minimize any pain or discomfort. Still, try to enjoy yourself. If you experience pain, stop and change positions or try something different.

Summary

In general, it will take longer to return to an active sex life if your surgery was a major one. After a surgery such as open-heart surgery or a joint replacement, it will take longer before you're well enough to have sex.

Minor procedures typically allow the patient to return to their normal activities much faster, sometimes within days or weeks. There are exceptions, so it's important to talk openly with your surgeon about when you can return to active sex life.

Once you do resume, let pain be your guide. If a particular activity or position hurts, stop or try something else.

A Word From Verywell

Following any type of surgery, try to be patient and allow yourself to heal before you return to sexual activity with your partner. When you are truly healthy and ready, you can safely return to sexual intercourse.